How to Make Your Memoir Stand Out
“Books on illness don’t sell.” “Unless you’re famous, you’ll never get a book deal.” “Just another cancer story, what makes you different?”
When I decided to write a memoir about my battle with an ultra-rare stage IV cancer, I knew it wouldn’t be easy. However, admittedly, what I didn’t quite anticipate was the steady stream of discouraging comments I’d find lurking around every corner in my pursuit of publishing.
Taken at face value, these comments may seem a bit insensitive to share with someone with stage IV cancer who’s spent over a year of their life writing a memoir about their experience while simultaneously hoping they live long enough to finish it. As a budding author, these comments were certainly difficult for me to stomach at times. However, looking back with hindsight, even if they may not have always been packaged in the best way, they’re comments I’m actually grateful I received. Not only did they provide me with valuable feedback that challenged me to improve the communication of my story, but they also fueled my drive to defy the odds once more and prove that I had a story worth telling.
These comments and feedback became stepping stones, challenging me to dig deeper, to uncover the unique angles of my experience that no one else could tell. It also taught me the invaluable lesson of how to make my story stand out in a crowded field. The climb, setbacks, doubt, and difficult feedback at times only made the payoff even sweeter. The moment I not only signed with an agent but when she notified me I’d been offered a deal, it felt like winning gold. Looking back on my experience writing, ‘Too Young for Cancer’, here are a few learnings I gleaned from this feedback that I’d like to pass along in case it can be helpful to others.
Embrace Feedback, Even If It’s Difficult to Hear
Writing a memoir is deeply personal. Criticism can feel like an attack not just on your writing, but on your life experiences. I still remember the twinge of bitter frustration that came after some of these comments as I returned to my pages and tried to convince myself to keep writing.
I’d be lying to you if I said I didn’t take it personally at first. It felt a bit insensitive and invalidating of both the harrowing battle I’d been forced to overcome and the hardships anyone who faces cancer endures. However, I also saw them as an opportunity to re-evaluate how I was communicating my story.
Learning from, instead of blocking out difficult feedback, may help you identify gaps in your pitch or communication, narrow your target market, or provide an opportunity to challenge your assumptions.
Challenge Your Assumptions
Surprising feedback can challenge your assumptions and reshape your perspective. As someone who shared my diagnosis on social media, I was often surrounded by supportive people interested in my story. This led me to assume I knew what they wanted to hear in my memoir—details about treatments, surgeries, and symptoms. However, the comments from those who had not followed my story socials that questioned what set my story apart made me reconsider.
This led me to run a poll just before reaching the midway point of writing my memoir, where instead of assuming I knew what people wanted to hear, I actually asked them. The answer surprised me as the vast majority of respondents mentioned that what they were most interested in hearing in my book was what it is like to navigate the healthcare system with such a rare diagnosis and what my life experiences were like because of it. This insight helped me refocus my narrative to ensure I highlighted those aspects.
Find Your Unique Angle
After this feedback, the sharing of my story in a single sentence shifted from “being diagnosed with stage IV cancer at twenty-nine” to “what it was like to be diagnosed with an ultra-rare stage IV cancer and having to navigate the healthcare system as a twenty-nine year old newlywed.” This subtle change aligned much more closely with what readers were looking for, better highlighted what my memoir was already about, and left an opening for people to ask more.
Create a Natural Progression
Complex stories require a careful unveiling of details. Starting with a surprising yet relatable hook provides a natural transition to guide whomever you’re talking to through your journey, leaving breadcrumbs of insights along the way in a conversational fashion. Remember, you’re the expert in your experiences, but they need a clear path from A to Z as they don’t have your lived experiences to fill in the details.
Keep It Relatable
Never lose sight of the universal aspects of your story. Highlight moments and learnings that readers can connect with even if they haven’t shared your exact experience.
Writing “Too Young for Cancer” taught me that standing out in the crowded category of memoirs requires more than just an interesting life story. It requires resilience in the face of rejection, a willingness to challenge your own assumptions, and the ability to distill your complex experiences into a compelling story that resonates with readers. Remember, your unique perspective is your greatest asset, and most importantly, never give up.
-by Katie Coleman, author
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